For me, it’s that feeling when I know it’s time to say good night. Those last rounds of hugs and kisses hit different when my little girls know mom is actually headed out for a few hours to herself.
It never fails. Every time — verbatimly — Peyton shouts, “BUT I DON’T WANT YOU TO GO, MOM!”
And, of course, Paxton impressionably follows up with a teary-eyed, “ME WANT TO GO WITH YOU MOMMMMMMY!”
Their teeny brown eyes swell with tears, that bottom lip begins to quiver, and the screams start to flow (the dagger in the back). Although I’ve reminded them all day, I guess this is the point where it really clicks for them: Mommy is leaving to have fun without us.
And that’s when it hits me: THE MOM GUILT.
If you’ve ever felt that bittersweet feeling when you’re kissing your little love goodbye, the chances are you’re a damn good mamma. As much as I enjoy a night out with my girlfriends, or a quick getaway with my hubby, I can never shake the guilt of leaving my girls while they cry out for their mommy. But when I feel that mom guilt sinking in, there are a two reminders that I keep in my back pocket:
1. I Deserve This Time Away
I love being at home. I love being with my family. I love being with my kids. That is when I’m in my most comfortable space. But, the reality is this: Every mamma needs ME time. The Millennial Mom in me spends every day, showing up, giving my family the best version of me. In order to do that genuinely and consistently, I must step into a space where I can rejuvenate myself. Whether it’s for an hour, or whether it’s for a few hours, that time away is so important to do something that nourishes and replenishes my mind, energy, and spirit. When was the last time you had a little ME time?
2. My Kids Are Safe
When I’m considering who will keep my girls while I spend a few hours away, there are two things that I consider: their safety and their happiness. I ask myself two questions. Can the person watching them keep them safe while I am away? Do my kids enjoy being with this person? Aside from my husband and me, there are four people who my children feel most comfortable with: their MiMi (my mom), their Granny (my mother-in-law), our nanny, and our "Cousin Tonya" who my girls adore. My “mom guilt” is soothed when I know my girls are in the care of these people, because I know they are the people who my kids enjoy spending time with. These are people who I know will keep them safe and make sure their time away from mom is filled with meaningful time well-spent. These are the people that my kids love, trust, and are most comfortable with.
So, when I’m all amped up for a little time without the kids, I can feel confident that I’m doing what needs to be done. I’m refreshing my energy, centering myself, so that I can show up for my family. And while I'm away, my kids are loved and safe. To the Millennial Mom who often struggles with "mom guilt" for taking time to yourself, here's a thought: be reminded of the need to breathe in more life, so that you can exhale more love and grace when your tiny person needs it the most. I’m living this Millennial Mom life — no sacrificing my personal identity. I’m living on purpose. And I dare you to do the same.
XO,
Millennial Mom
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